"Emotion can be the enemy. If you give in to your emotion, you lose yourself. You must be at one with your emotions because the body always follows the mind." Those are the words of legendary martial artist, Bruce Lee.
Emotions are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior. Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival.
There is an old adage, however, that rings true when it comes to emotions. "With friends like these, who needs enemies?"
It is a scientific fact that if left untamed, our basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to kill first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later. This is known as Flight or Fight Response.
Flight or Fight Response applies to physical and psychological situations. Emotions run amok will have you shouting or crying. They will have you making incorrect assumptions and not asking enough questions. Believe it or not, all of this is done in the name of survival.
Initially, your body responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Think about that.
Although they are supposed to be our friends, emotions frequently leave us in a world of trouble. Why? The answer is simple.
We are designed for survival, not diplomacy.
The emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, was rolling along for millions and millions of years doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to complicate things.
Now a person knows that if he or she can't do physical harm, an insulting remark will often do the trick. Although it's not a physical attack, your emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and responds accordingly.
If you aren't careful, in 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions flood your system creating what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking. Your emotions could become your enemies.
In life and death situations that call for immediate action an emotional hijacking might save your life. (Think about jumping out of the way of a moving car.)
At work, however, an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. It might cost you a deal, undermine a negotiation, or ruin a relationship.
Therefore the age-old advice about counting to ten before you respond has an equal amount of science and common sense behind it. It gives you a chance to use your logical brain.
So when you feel a tidal wave of emotions flooding your system, hit the pause button and access your neocortex. Joshua Freeman, a leading expert on developing Emotional Intelligence, calls it the "six second pause."
I've found that, for me it's even better to take the four extra seconds and go for the full ten count just to be sure. Because it can be so costly, impulsive behavior is nothing to play with.
When I was growing up my mom was fond of saying, "Al, don't let your friends get you in trouble."
Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.
Emotions are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior. Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival.
There is an old adage, however, that rings true when it comes to emotions. "With friends like these, who needs enemies?"
It is a scientific fact that if left untamed, our basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to kill first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later. This is known as Flight or Fight Response.
Flight or Fight Response applies to physical and psychological situations. Emotions run amok will have you shouting or crying. They will have you making incorrect assumptions and not asking enough questions. Believe it or not, all of this is done in the name of survival.
Initially, your body responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Think about that.
Although they are supposed to be our friends, emotions frequently leave us in a world of trouble. Why? The answer is simple.
We are designed for survival, not diplomacy.
The emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, was rolling along for millions and millions of years doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to complicate things.
Now a person knows that if he or she can't do physical harm, an insulting remark will often do the trick. Although it's not a physical attack, your emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and responds accordingly.
If you aren't careful, in 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions flood your system creating what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking. Your emotions could become your enemies.
In life and death situations that call for immediate action an emotional hijacking might save your life. (Think about jumping out of the way of a moving car.)
At work, however, an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. It might cost you a deal, undermine a negotiation, or ruin a relationship.
Therefore the age-old advice about counting to ten before you respond has an equal amount of science and common sense behind it. It gives you a chance to use your logical brain.
So when you feel a tidal wave of emotions flooding your system, hit the pause button and access your neocortex. Joshua Freeman, a leading expert on developing Emotional Intelligence, calls it the "six second pause."
I've found that, for me it's even better to take the four extra seconds and go for the full ten count just to be sure. Because it can be so costly, impulsive behavior is nothing to play with.
When I was growing up my mom was fond of saying, "Al, don't let your friends get you in trouble."
Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.
About the Author:
Who else is looking for a fun, engaging and inspiring youth speaker? Then visit his site to find out about how Al Duncan, one of the world's leading youth speakers can help young people build a competitive advantage in the 21st Century.
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