Have you ever had a conversation with someone that was, well, hard to get into? If you have, then you probably felt like getting away from that situation as soon as you could. What you have to realize is that women feel the same way most of the time when guys try to talk to them.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
When you feel like a conversation is really hard to get into or it just doesn't feel easy, most of the time that is due to a lack of RAPPORT with the person that you are speaking to. When you feel lots of rapport, even talking about the weather can be easy and kind of fun. So, this is something that you have to get right. You have to be able to make a woman feel rapport when she is with you and talking to you.
When someone seems nervous, or when they seem down, it makes talking to them a lot more difficult. When they are nervous, you can easily find that nervous feeling contagious and if you don't like that feeling, which most of us don't - it's going to make you want to get away. Happens a lot to women when they talk to really nervous guys.
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
The amount of pressure that you put on yourself when you feel like you have to be really smooth is just going to make the task of starting a conversation seem more difficult than it has to be. All you really have to do is focus on talking to her and engaging her in such a way that the conversation continues. Way too often, guys will put unnecessary pressure on themselves because they think that they have to be smooth when all you really have to do is be natural.
Of course, you do want to talk about yourself or what you like a little bit, but you don't want to talk so much about yourself that you come across as self involved or not really caring about her.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
(I used to do this all the time, and make up some pretty crazy conversations to see if I could get people around me to listen in. "He hit the cop with a baseball bat??? No WAY!" Try it sometime... it's better than prank phone calling.) The point of this is that you must get out there and put yourself in as many DIFFERENT situations where you have to recall the information you're trying to memorize. The more situations you find to rehearse in, the better you'll be when it counts - in front of a woman.By using my technique, you activate millions more neurons in your brain, which commits the words DEEP into your memory. And then this helps you pull out the words when you really need to, and you won't have any of those embarrassing gaps and silences in your conversations with women.
[How To Talk To Women]
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
When you feel like a conversation is really hard to get into or it just doesn't feel easy, most of the time that is due to a lack of RAPPORT with the person that you are speaking to. When you feel lots of rapport, even talking about the weather can be easy and kind of fun. So, this is something that you have to get right. You have to be able to make a woman feel rapport when she is with you and talking to you.
When someone seems nervous, or when they seem down, it makes talking to them a lot more difficult. When they are nervous, you can easily find that nervous feeling contagious and if you don't like that feeling, which most of us don't - it's going to make you want to get away. Happens a lot to women when they talk to really nervous guys.
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
A woman reads that, and gets a feeling, a feeling like she doesn't really want to spend too much time with you. On the other hand, if you show a woman that you are relaxed and calm with your body language, that can make her feel the same way and she is a lot more likely to want to stick around.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
The amount of pressure that you put on yourself when you feel like you have to be really smooth is just going to make the task of starting a conversation seem more difficult than it has to be. All you really have to do is focus on talking to her and engaging her in such a way that the conversation continues. Way too often, guys will put unnecessary pressure on themselves because they think that they have to be smooth when all you really have to do is be natural.
Of course, you do want to talk about yourself or what you like a little bit, but you don't want to talk so much about yourself that you come across as self involved or not really caring about her.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
(I used to do this all the time, and make up some pretty crazy conversations to see if I could get people around me to listen in. "He hit the cop with a baseball bat??? No WAY!" Try it sometime... it's better than prank phone calling.) The point of this is that you must get out there and put yourself in as many DIFFERENT situations where you have to recall the information you're trying to memorize. The more situations you find to rehearse in, the better you'll be when it counts - in front of a woman.By using my technique, you activate millions more neurons in your brain, which commits the words DEEP into your memory. And then this helps you pull out the words when you really need to, and you won't have any of those embarrassing gaps and silences in your conversations with women.
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Read more about How To Talk To Women , and also watch out on How To Talk To Girls for your needs.
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