Monday, March 25, 2013

Understanding Assertive Communication

By Zoe Smith


It is impossible to live in this world and not be in contact with another person. As such, it is of vital importance that we develop good communication skills to be able to express ourselves clearly and in doing so, establish better relationships with the people around us. What is assertive communication and how can we use this to our best advantage?

There are several kinds of communication styles we have knowledge of. Passive communicators are individuals who have low self-esteem and will avoid expressing their own views and opinions. Aggressive communicators on the other hand, also have low self-esteem but express it by being abusive and inconsiderate of another person's rights. Some people are classified as passive-aggressive. These people seem passive but are subtly undermining the other person because they are angry, resentful and feel powerless.

It goes without saying that these are not very good communication styles. In fact, if you think this is you, you need to seriously check yourself and purpose to change before you lose people's respect or drive them away. Nobody is perfect and unless you can walk on water and are born of a virgin-expect to make mistakes. Learn from it and move on from here.

It goes without saying that the most effective communicator is the assertive communicator. Assertive people are people that have a healthy self-image, therefore they are able to advocate their rights and opinions without having to undermine another person to do so. They are open, direct and respectful to people they are with.

Your professional life will greatly benefit if you learn how to master this form of communication. Decision making techniques are most effective if you are confident, straightforward and unfettered by the need to build up the ego. Passive decision makers do not solicit much respect and aggressive personalities are often at odds with people around them.

More importantly, understanding and utilizing assertive communication will improve your personal relationships as well. Nobody wants to hurt people they love and so most of us will shy away from correcting them, or do it the wrong way and turn them away. A good communicator will be able to correct lovingly, respectfully and effectively.

So how can we improve in this particular quality? The first thing you need to do is to have a deeper understanding and appreciation of yourself. If you have a healthy self-image or self esteem, you will not shy away from asserting your rights; nor will you feel the need to strongly defend yourself because you feel vulnerable and attacked. Place a high and healthy value on your own person by taking time to develop yourself spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Of course, no matter how well you deal with others-miscommunication cannot be avoided at times. When it happens, do not feel bad about it. Do what you know to do and don't allow that from hindering you to live the way you deserve. Enjoy life with all its possibilities and experience an absolutely richer life when you do!




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