Monday, April 8, 2013

Building Self Esteem for Women and Girls: Tap Into Your Feminine Power By Putting Your Needs First

By Victoria W. Bergman


Does your self esteem wavor when you see apparently flawless females? Women and girls often get the brunt of air brushed media images. Does just looking at those perfect models make you want to sink even further into the proverbial bed?Or perhaps you avoid any media comparison, and yet still experience low self esteem from the messages you picked up in the family environment. Did your parents want a girl? did they value you? We're you an awkward teenager? Are you a stressed out mum that puts herself and her needs last? Are you a manager that let's her colleagues dump their extra workload on to her?
[Girls Self Esteem]


Whatever the cause, and what ever the situation you find your self in, you can turn your self-esteem around. Just like any muscle in the body, the right coaching plan will strengthen your self love, esteem and respect in no time.My top 7 tips to Developing solid self esteem are,Make a note of all the negative messages you have about yourself, your body, your worth, potential and limitations - and determine where they came from. Keep in mind that some messages may have been simply absorbed on an unconscious level i.e. we may have picked up self esteem patterns from our mothers or other female in the home.Now go burn that list and never look back.Create a new list - full of all your best traits, experiences, abilities, and any compliments you've received.

Health risks are coupled with most girls' dip in their self-esteem because of dangerous eating habits, despair, as well as unwanted pregnancy.Girls who are 10 or 12 are occasionally confronted with various "teen" issues like dating or sex, at an alarmingly earlier age. Almost 73 percent of the 8 to 12-year old girls dress more like thriving teens and even talk much like teens.When or why do girls' self-esteem dip?When the pre-teen years start, girls experience a total shift in their focus; and their bodies turn into some sort of all consuming passion-machine, which is much like a meter of self-worth.Self-esteem turns very closely tied to many physical attributes that most girls feel they're unable to gauge in respect of their society standards.Between 5th or 9th grade, most gifted girls perceive that smarts are not really sexy, and keep hiding their accomplishments.

And most teen girls are faced with increasing number of "stressors" in their lives, particularly in their interpersonal relationships. Unfortunately, they react more intensely than typical boys, which throw them towards depressions.If you are like every parent out there, you constantly worry about your children every day. When they are babies, you worry they are going to fall and get hurt. When they start school, are they going fit in, are they going to make friends, are they going to like school? They get to the age of 9 or 10 now you worry if they are fitting at school.

Be spiritually aware by developing your connection to what you believe in. Take time to relax in nature and re-charge your batteries. Nurture your soul with beauty, peace and love.Putting your needs first is not an act of selfishness, but rather healthy self love and respect. When a woman puts her needs first, she commands respect and appreciation. If you have old patterns of giving in, thinking about the needs of others, denying yourself any fun and pleasure - did those feelings make you feel good? Did you feel resentful and unappreciated?When you give to yourself, you do only feed your spirit, but you fill the reservoirs of your love and in doing so you can love others too.

It has been my awareness of the importance of making it a point to develop self-esteem and keep a positive self-image that has spared my daughter all types of emotional drama that I see some of her peers going through. In fact my daughter is often mentoring her friends on getting through their challenges on self-esteem issues and on more than one occasion has told me how grateful she is for the information that I share with her.We live in a community that has recognized that there is a problem with competition, materialism, and perfectionism. All three of these issues are directly related to an issue with low self-esteem and trying to hide feelings of insecurity. Often trying to find security, love and self-esteem creates that type of messy experience in not only teen-aged girls, but also throughout the lives of grown women.

So, here are some ideas for parents who are looking for ways to raise their daughter's self-esteem and confidence,Firstly, encourage your daughter to have a well-defined identity. This means helping her define what she likes, what she values and what she believes in. Good questions to ask her are: "Tell me about that", "Why did you make that decision?" and "Why does it make you feel like that?"Spend lots of time giving her sincere and genuine feedback about her strengths and abilities. For example, "I think you are good at because...", and "I like the way you..."

It is very important for you to work together with your daughter's teachers and mentors to help her become proud of her uniqueness, personality and strengths. If she receives mixed messages or regular discouraging criticism, it may result in confusion or an identity crisis.Secondly, support your daughter to master self-control and problem solving skills. It is critical that she learns the art of taking responsibility for the decisions she makes. She must be supported to be creative, empathic and courageous as she becomes independent and accountable for the choices she makes.

By the way, when I say outgoing, I don't mean the person next to you at work that just can't shut up. I mean the person that can have conversation with anyone, that person.The second item is character. Help your son or daughter build their character. Make them make the hard choices. Don't let them get away with the occasional lying or unacceptable behavior. Make them understand in a positive way that there are consequences for not behaving correctly in today's society and they will result in some sort of negative ways for them. Hold them accountable just like you think the society will hold them accountable so they are ready when they become an adult.




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