Arguing is often considered to be a negative thing in a marriage but actually it is perfectly normal and, if done the right way, pretty healthy too! Everyone has disagreements, even those couples who seemingly 'have it all'.
However, finding out how for you to dispute is obviously an art which most people may enhance upon.
* Some people take fighting very seriously and may be so concerned about winning that they lose sight of what they actually disagree about!
* Some really get their teeth into an argument, loading on more and more ammunition until they either achieve a knock-out or their partner surrenders!
* It is not absolutely necessary to get your teeth in to the argument. One shouldn't forget that arguments are meant to be in a soothing manner and not to hurt each other to a point from where it is very difficult to return.
* Sometimes the arguments are repetitive and couples keep doing it when they are clueless about what to do.
1. Understand what the problem is!
1. Know what the problem is!
Be sure you are usually talking about the reason for the situation rather than a symptom of computer.
1. Try to understand the problem
3. Don't get personal!
Don't launch a character assassination at your poor spouse - discuss the issue don't pull them apart and attack them. Avoid getting personal or being too general eg. telling them what they 'always' do or 'never' do. None of these approaches are in any way constructive.
Do not beat around the bush. be precise and fact based when you are going to argue.
Treat your partner as you want to be treated. Try to remain calm, not raise your voice and generally create an atmosphere of discussion rather than all out war! No name calling, no swearing, no throwing things - just discuss the issue at hand without getting overly emotional - you will have far more chance of a successful discussion this way.
Never get personal with your loved ones negative points and make it look worse.
4. Mutual Respect
Treat your lover or wife as you want to be treated. Try to be in their shoes.
* If you lose, don't sulk.
The above situations could arise from an argument and be ready to face them whatever they may be and face it with open arms. If you both win, feel proud of yourselves for a successful conflict resolution
6. Time out!
6. Time out!
7. Listen
7. Listen
If you can adopt even a few of these tactics we are certain you will see an improvement in how you argue.
If you want to pick up more hints and tips on arguing check out our free communications video course as well as some useful, hand-picked resources specifically on fighting fair.
However, finding out how for you to dispute is obviously an art which most people may enhance upon.
* Some people take fighting very seriously and may be so concerned about winning that they lose sight of what they actually disagree about!
* Some really get their teeth into an argument, loading on more and more ammunition until they either achieve a knock-out or their partner surrenders!
* It is not absolutely necessary to get your teeth in to the argument. One shouldn't forget that arguments are meant to be in a soothing manner and not to hurt each other to a point from where it is very difficult to return.
* Sometimes the arguments are repetitive and couples keep doing it when they are clueless about what to do.
1. Understand what the problem is!
1. Know what the problem is!
Be sure you are usually talking about the reason for the situation rather than a symptom of computer.
1. Try to understand the problem
3. Don't get personal!
Don't launch a character assassination at your poor spouse - discuss the issue don't pull them apart and attack them. Avoid getting personal or being too general eg. telling them what they 'always' do or 'never' do. None of these approaches are in any way constructive.
Do not beat around the bush. be precise and fact based when you are going to argue.
Treat your partner as you want to be treated. Try to remain calm, not raise your voice and generally create an atmosphere of discussion rather than all out war! No name calling, no swearing, no throwing things - just discuss the issue at hand without getting overly emotional - you will have far more chance of a successful discussion this way.
Never get personal with your loved ones negative points and make it look worse.
4. Mutual Respect
Treat your lover or wife as you want to be treated. Try to be in their shoes.
* If you lose, don't sulk.
The above situations could arise from an argument and be ready to face them whatever they may be and face it with open arms. If you both win, feel proud of yourselves for a successful conflict resolution
6. Time out!
6. Time out!
7. Listen
7. Listen
If you can adopt even a few of these tactics we are certain you will see an improvement in how you argue.
If you want to pick up more hints and tips on arguing check out our free communications video course as well as some useful, hand-picked resources specifically on fighting fair.
About the Author:
Learn more about marriage related argument. Stop by Barbara Firer 's site where you can find out all about argumentative communication in marriage and what it can do for you.
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