Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Beat Self Sabotage And Create A Better Life

By Lachlan Haynes


It's easy to forget just how powerful our subconscious minds can be. We are often completely unaware of how our actions (or inaction) are affecting our lives. We may complain that things never work out for us, we always seem to have bad luck, or we just don't have what it takes to be successful.

But what many people fail to realize is that they are actually creating their own circumstances through subconscious self-sabotage (so in other words they have no idea they're actually creating their own problems).

But since our subconsciousness is just that, a subconsciousness, it's seemingly out of our control. But that's a fallacy. We can counter our subconscious self-sabotage by using our conscious awareness; we need to take a deeper look into how we feel and what we fear - but we have to do this on an intellectual level (which doesn't mean you need to be a genius by the way). By doing this we're able to pinpoint any reason for behaving that is counter-intuitive to our ambitions. Once we realize what the issue is, it's much easier to plan the next step in overcoming our self-sabotage. But in order to recognize the issue, we need to know exactly what happens we sabotage ourselves.

Often subconsciously, we may be frightened by a particular outcome, even though we say we want it. Take for example, losing weight. Many overweight people have struggled for years, tried diet after diet, and still can't lose the weight (or keep it off). They berate themselves, push themselves harder, and try to force the weight off. But what's happening beneath the surface? Do they really want to lose their excess pounds? They may say they do, but what if their layers of fat are providing a sense of protection and security in an uncertain world? What if they feel the need to cover up and conceal themselves? Losing weight then becomes a threatening, frightening possibility. So they might sabotage their diet efforts in order to avoid feeling too vulnerable and exposed. Even though they say they want to lose weight (and even believe they do) they still might set themselves up for failure by sneaking food, skipping exercise, and then making a promise that they'll try harder tomorrow.

Those who self-sabotage may also be afraid of what others will think of them should they accomplish their goals. They might not believe they're worthy of the outcome, so they act in ways that will ensure their failure. These destructive efforts are done subconsciously, so even the saboteurs have fooled themselves into thinking they know what they want. If there is any uncertainty in their mind, any doubt, any fear, they will find a way to make sure it doesn't happen. Perhaps this describes you? Have you sabotaged yourself in the past? Are you still doing it now? Are you not able to move forward with your goals, no matter how hard you try?

Fortunately, anyone can overcome self-sabotage. The most important step to stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to recognize that it's happening (and that's not always easy!) So what's required is to develop a conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.

If you've been struggling with a certain goal and things just don't seem to be working out for you, take a look at the setbacks that were encountered and evaluate the situation. Could any of the obstacles have been avoided by making wiser choices on your part? Are there a significantly high number of obstacles that seem to have arisen for this one particular goal. Ask yourself what you may be afraid of? What fears do you have? What uncertainties? What makes you feel uncomfortable about this goal? For what reasons would you try to hold yourself back? Can you think of anything at all?

When we finally understand that we are in control of our own success, we will be set free from all limitations! By developing clarity and insight about the outcomes we want to create, and the awareness for potential setbacks, we can stop the self-sabotage and focus our energies on working toward new goals that we will fully support in every way. We will then look back one day and see that instead of being our own worst saboteur, we have become our best supporter.




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