Saturday, July 6, 2013

Fundamental Strategies On How To Improve Self Esteem

By Marianne R. Brown


Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody's mind. It doesn't matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem. The problem with this is that you really don't know exactly what you want to improve. You're acting intuitively on external signals.Do you know how to improve your self esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away.Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change. Know what you want and Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)
[How To Gain Self Confidence]


I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:

Get rid of those negative self-beliefs. The negative self-limiting beliefs that are constantly repeating in your head greatly contributes to your feelings of inadequacy or incapacity. Getting rid of these thoughts is one of the fundamental tasks for anyone who wants to raise his self esteem. You could start by paying more attention to everything that it says--be more attentive of all the negative self-talk that is taking place inside your head. Then you can work on making a list of all the unfavourable thoughts that you hear within. After you have identified your destructive self-limiting beliefs, challenge and refute them. Take each negative thought on your list and counter it with a positive statement together with supporting proof. To provide you with an example, let's use the negative thought, "I cannot do anything well." You can counter this thought by writing down: "Sure, I can do some things well" and then list down things that you have successfully done in the past.

Be with the right people. I have learned many lessons over my years of struggle to end low self esteem; but one of the most important realizations that I made was that the people I surround myself with have a huge bearing on how I feel about myself. With this realization, I had to wisely prune relationships--distance myself from some people and strengthen ties with others. If you want to really be successful in improving your self esteem, see to it that you spend time with positive and supportive people--people who genuinely like, value and respect you. Stay away as much as you can from people who belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself. Belong to a crowd that appreciates your positive traits and helps you come to terms with your imperfections.

Start being more assertive. If you have formed the habit of putting aside your needs, thoughts and emotions in an effort to please or avoid upsetting other people, then you must stop that habit now. Being passive and putting the needs and rights of others above your own further damages your self-esteem. So start working on that ability to speak up and share what's on your mind and stop letting others push you around. Remember that what you think and feel is no less important than anyone else's.If you find yourself feeling like you're "in a rut" and not appreciating yourself as much as you should, there are simple changes you can make to improve self-confidence and take charge of your life again. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improving your self-confidence will always have a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others, and your ability to handle the little ups and downs that life can throw at us from time to time.

To achieve an improved self-esteem is extremely important if you want to feel good about yourself and feel comfortable in social situations in which you are surrounded by different people. In addition, low self-esteem is capable of producing social anxiety, which gives you lots of problems to live a quiet and happy social life.The following 12 steps to improve self-esteem.Stop comparing with others. There will always be people who will have more things than you, and will always be people who have less than you. If you fall into that game of comparing yourself with people then you will always find "opponents" whom you will not be able to overcome.The important thing is to celebrate your individuality. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You are a person with much to offer. You should never feel neither superior nor inferior to others.Stop self-criticism. It's time to stop being hard on yourself. You will not be able to increase your self esteem if your internal dialogue is always hesitant about yourself and your abilities. Whether because of your appearance, your job, your relationships, your financial situation or any other aspect of your life, stop the negative inner dialogue that causing much damage and in most cases not is true.

Stop Trying so Hard. Improving confidence should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack -- you deserve it.Focus Your Attention Outward. Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the "self." Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward -- insecure people focus inward.

Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.

During the harder times, things get a little tricky. For instance, in these economic times when there are many men who are unemployed. If yours is one of them it'll be hard on both of you. To start, you may need a book of affirmations (I'm only partly joking with this one). If your man is at that stage he may need you now more than ever, because when he doubts, he needs you to believe in him. He needs to know that you are behind him no matter what. These are the times for the SILENT sacrifices; when you have to pass on something you want, and not complain about it. This is when you don't go to the concert and plan a nice romantic evening at home instead. It will be hard to work the extra hours and then come home to look over his new cover letter, but your devotion will motivate him to keep trying.

Affirmations: Ask Yourself the Right Questions. Some people repeat affirmations such as "I am self confident," which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, "why am I so confident?" The subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner. When you ask it a question like this, it will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident."Model" Other Confident People. One way to improve self-confidence is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that's great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.Practice Gratitude. A grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. Practice making a daily gratitude list, and particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self-image that is crucial to success in life.




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